Sunday, November 16, 2008

Struggling

I have really been struggling all week. Depression? Maybe.
Despair? I don't think so. The culprit - Lack of sleep combined
with a lack of encouragement from God's word. When I woke up this
morning I had no, zero, nada desire to go to church. Drew is
fighting a sinus infection, Jacob hacking away with a cough both
planning to stay home. I excused myself from church attendance - who
would watch the baby? There is no sense in going with the baby (I
told myself - lie). Drew woke up at 9:28, sat bolt upright in the
recliner and said "What are you still doing here?" He had encouraged
me to go to church earlier and I declined. Chloe had just fallen
asleep so he kicked me out with Mary and Abigail in tow. I am so
thankful I went. The message was encouraging but talking to Heidi
afterwards REALLY blessed me. She reminded me that I am not just a
stay at home Mom but a worker of the King of the Universe with little
ones made in His image. Praise God for saints who encourage! She
also directed me to an awesome blog site called holy experience. I
just finished a good 5 minute cry before typing this. I will battle
sin until Christ returns but I praise Him for the victory that is
mine in Christ.

2 comments:

HopiQ said...

Oh, wow, I thought I was the only one "awful" enough to look for "legitimate" reasons to get out of going to church!

I know how you're feeling, and isn't it just like the Lord to bring us blessings like a message that was meant for us and the words of a kindred spirit to lift our eyes back to the Lord.

Something the Lord showed me one morning during breaking of bread when I felt like I came totally drained with nothing in me. Do you ever feel that way walking into church? Like you should bring a heart ready for worship, etc., etc.? When I was feeling so empty, He reminded me that that is how I should always come. He is always ready to fill me up to overflowing with all He is. I need to be desperate for Him because I am nothing in myself.

Our jobs as women who pursue God and work as wives and mothers are so worth it when we realize Who we are serving.

Holy Experience is on of my regular reads. :) I'm so glad you found it. Lots of realness and encouragement to be had. I so appreciate her perspective.

Hang in there! I'm praying for you.

Tonya said...

that site must be really known as I visit it too but not daily. i know exactly how you feel.

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